on late nights like these, during stressful times at work, crossfit, and school, whenever i feel burned out and weak, and for all the occasions that i just want to give up and stop fighting…

i remember that i’m only a year and a half away from my RN.
seems like a far distance, but time goes by quickly.
there will be much suffering, stress, and sacrifice to come,
but i want to be a college graduate, i want to graduate from the school i should have gone to straight out of high school, i want to finally be an RN.
this semester has been my toughest yet, but i’m only 3 weeks away from summer vacation. i remember why i’m at the mount and i soldier on.

i love crossfit. i still have a lot to work on and improve upon, but i am stronger than i was before it. doing it has become one of the best decisions of my life, and while consistency has been my biggest issue, i still come back because every session counts. every workout counts, every minute of it. the past 4 months have been the most productive time of my membership at crossfit riot, and i will continue to keep doing work because i want to be stronger, i want to be more fit, and i want to express the graces of crossfit more fully in the other parts of my life. laziness and doubt will always be around as obstacles, but i only grow more certain that crossfit is for me.

i work because i love what i do. no matter how annoying patients and their families can get, no matter how long i take doing something, or how dirty or uncomfortable things get, i love being a nurse. i remember my life before nursing, and how i’m living, no matter how imperfect, stressful, or exhausting, is so much better than my past. when i work as a nurse, i not only express my education, skills, and experience…i display the sacrifices and love of my parents, and i show the worth of my soul and the meaning of my life with everything i do as a nurse. being a nurse is a gift from God, and i will not let it go to waste. 

and so i hold on to my stethoscope, put on my backpack, and wear my workout shoes…because i will not quit, i will not stop, and i will continue to win.

boom - jl

i don’t need to be smart to know you’re amazing.

and without faith, i’ll still believe you’re a blessing.

i’m sure you love me even if i don’t have proof.

a fear of heights couldn’t stop me from falling for you.

you’re the reason why i’ve stopped searching for love.

and if i couldn’t count, i’ll still know you’re the only one.

distance is nothing when you’re in my heart.

i don’t need sight to see how beautiful you are.

i could show how much you mean to me without words.

no disaster can keeps us from being together.

to stop our feelings there’s nothing anyone can do.

if i was selfish, i’d still share my love with you.

sadness can’t bring me down when you’re on my mind.

i don’t need wings because your love makes me fly.

there’s no obstacle that we can’t rise above.

we’ll overcome any challenge in the course of our love.

when problems try to keep me from loving you,

our love will always find a way through.

- jl

it’s been about 18 days since my last school day of the year. since then, i’ve been living extremely well. reckless food adventures, epic shopping trips, unrestricted time with family and friends, a very blessed retreat, and so forth. the past couple of months have been very challenging, balancing school, work, volunteering, and crossfit. i wasn’t perfect and i didn’t achieve the victory i expected, but 4 A’s and 2 B’s, an expanding census of patients, a maturing faith, and being stronger than ever before is most definitely a victory i can live with, be blessed by, and be thankful for. it’s been the kind of advent season i’ve needed…a time of peace and comfort, days spent investing in myself and others and how that all relates back to God. i am ready to celebrate once again the presence of God in my life and how he chooses to make Himself known to me in every aspect of my life. i glorify Jesus Christ with my joys and sufferings, wins and losses, strengths and weaknesses. if Christmas is Christ’s Mass and mass essentially means “mission” from “masa,” then i am reminded tonight and every day of the Christmas season and the rest of my life of my mission that st. hilary of poitiers so beautifully describes…

“i am well aware, Almighty God and Father, that in my life i owe you a most particular duty. it is to make my every thought and word speak of you.” 

allow God to reign in everything.
allow yourself to see God and experience God in everything.
gratitude for everything, grace for everything. 

have a very blessed and very merry Christmas, everyone.
cheers to you, cheers to me, cheers to Jesus Christ,
cheers to this victory that is the foundation for all our victories. 

Salud - jl